Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Tuesday’s Surgery

Well, Tuesday is Nicole’s surgery for her ear pits, branchial cysts, ear tags, adenoids, and tonsils.  Surprisingly, Nicole is excited about it.  Oh, to be a kid again!  She really has no idea what is about to happen, and praise the Lord for that!  (The divine provision of innocence and trust in children is something to be modeled in our lives as adults.)  What I am really afraid of is the post-surgery let-down and questioning about what has happened and why we allowed it.  I am dreading that.  I distinctly remember Nathan going in for surgery so big and brave and coming out feeling violated.  I cried when he went in and I cried when he came out.  I expect nothing different this time with Nicole.  I cry at Charlie Brown’s Christmas, so what do you expect?  Kind of pathetic, actually.  I am sure she will do fine.

Titia went to the library and got her a book on going to the hospital.  It talks about packing your bags, including the all important pajamas, blue teddy bear, hair brush, tooth brush, and so on.  Notice the teddy bear has to be blue!  Nicole will have no other.  When a 6 year old goes to the hospital for surgery and an overnight stay and wants a blue teddy bear then you get her a blue teddy bear.  That is all there is to it.  She also keeps talking about how the doctor is going “to remove these”, as she tenderly points to her ear tags.  I will miss them, as I have said before L.  Oh well, I will get used to Nicole without the ear tags.

On a more serious note; this is a big deal.  Sure, many kids have their tonsils and adenoids removed.  I know that.  But this is a much longer surgery because of the other things that need to be done and we have been told that it will be close to a 3 hour surgery.  Plus, it is the surgery before her kidney transplant.  Nicole is going to have an incredibly difficult year.  There is no doubt about it.  Any surgery is no small matter under any circumstances but this is anything but minor as far as I am concerned!  My little girl is going to be cut on and that is enough to send me head-long into “protect my daughter mode”.  Tonight she curled up on my lap and said, “I am daddy’s girl”.  THAT’S RIGHT!  She is a daddy’s girl and praise God for that.  That is the way it is supposed to be.  One of my roles as a father is “protector”.  All I could think about as she said that was how I wanted to protect her from every bit of pain and hurt that she might ever go through.  I know this is unrealistic, but nonetheless it is my desire.  I desire this for all of my children.  I believe many men have abdicated their God given roles as men.  This is the paramount calling in my life; ministry and service to my family.  Protector, provider, teacher.  These are divinely appointed tasks and I take them seriously.  My dad used to have a saying that went something like this as he nostalgically remembered the past, “Yes, son, that is back when men were men and women were glad of it”.  J  I love it.  Simple, yet profound.  His point was there was a time in our past when men were masculine and the ladies in the world were glad there was a difference between them and the men.  Not everybody strove to be equal in every way and God-given differences in people were embraced instead of becoming points of division.  Men/Women, Black/White, Jew/Gentile, Rich/Poor.  I could go on.  The point is to accept who you are, how you were created, and stop trying to be someone or something you simply are not.  You were made who you are for a reason.  A divine reason.  Embrace it.  Think about this one for awhile and you might be surprised where it leads you.  Anyway, I am a man.  My dad taught me to walk road-side with my wife and daughters when on a side-walk.  Why?  Because in that position I could protect my family from potential road hazards.  He taught me to shoot a gun in self-defense and for the protection of my household.  He taught me to never, under any circumstances, to ever strike or hurt a girl under penalty of death (and a very large switch from the tree).  He taught me to open doors, pull out chairs, and every other act of practically dead chivalry that you can imagine.  Silly?  I don’t think so!  I think it is important.  Very important.  And just as the saying goes, “women were glad of it”.  I think it is still this way.  Maybe I am old-fashioned.  Who knows?  However, I do know this; my daughter is going in for surgery on Tuesday, Lord willing, and I am going to be there at the hospital.  Just being a dad.  I would be no where else in the world.

Nicole, my prayer for you is from Number 6:

25 the LORD make his face shine upon you
   and be gracious to you;
26 the LORD turn his face toward you
   and give you peace.”’

The Lord will have mercy to a thousand generations and upon Nicole on Tuesday.  Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayer for Nicole.

For His Glory,


  1. Nicole is in our daily family prayers and every time that I talk to God, which is a great deal lately. I also pray for your family, because not only will it be difficult for her but it will be on each and every one of you. You know that her overly worrisome aunt will want and need an update as soon as she comes out of surgery.
    I am glad that Dad taught you all of those things and so much more. Your strength and your tenderness with your daughters reminds me so much of him and that is definitely a trait that you can be proud of.
    I love you all,

    PS....I cry during Charlie Brown Christmas too. :-)

  2. OK, I cried at the end of Charlottes Web! For pity's sake! Charlotte was left to die and float away, all alone in the upper corner of the pig pen. I warned my children... I was reading it out loud to them though, so that is kind of worse... Y'all are terrific parents and are glad to be called "friend"! Blessings and prayers for you all :)

  3. Brian,
    Brandon and I have recently had a couple conversations about manliness, instant message conversations since he is in Afghanistan. My grandfather was always that man for me, he even washed my grandmother's car and filled it up for her because "gas station was no place for a lady".
    Guard and protect, Brian, teach and train, you may never get "Father of the Year" award but you will have a legacy that will extend for many generations.