Thursday, February 10, 2011

From Deliverance to Hardship to Glory

My daughter Nicole was born October 12th, 2004.  She is my little angel and a great gift from the Lord.

My wife, Letitia, gave birth to our first born son Nathan in May of 1995.  It all seemed so easy.  But the months of waiting for our next pregnancy turned into years.  And the years just seemed to go on and on.  Nothing.  After visiting specialists it was determined that our son Nathan was really a miracle and that we would most likely never have any more children.  Our waiting turned to despair.  Things like this make you question.  I don't know about you, but when I see unfit parents have child after child for the silliest of reasons I get angry.  I was angry.  Why us?  Why not one of these misfits parents I see at Wal-Mart?  (Not trying to be pious here, but seriously, have you seen some of the pathetic parenting that occurs at Wal-Mart?  It is enough to send a calm person over the edge...but I digress.)  I am just being honest here about how I felt, and feel to a certain extent.  The doctors recommended procedures, fixes, and solutions.  But we said, “No, it is the Lord that opens and closes the womb.”  We maintained this testimony as the years passed by.  If the Lord did not give us children, we would not have children.  It was that simple.  Why over-complicate God?  Why manipulate the situation He had obviously orchestrated?  We felt at peace.

The roller coaster continued.  Pregnancy…finally.  We had waited and waited and waited and our testimony in the Lord’s faithfulness became reality.

Joy...Despair  The pregnancy was lost at 20-weeks and my wife had to deliver a still-born little girl, Rebekkah.  We held this little baby in our arms and wept.  Why?  There are no answers for these things.  We stayed in hiding for weeks not wanting to peek our heads out.  Why, after speaking of the Lord's glory, did he do this?  It made (and makes) no sense to my finite mind at all.

Despair...Joy  Letitia was pregnant again.  (So much for the doctors saying we would never have another child.)  Nicole was being fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord in the womb of Letitia.  The pregnancy went well and everything was perfect.  We had so much faith that we had 6 level 2 ultrasounds.  Yes, 6.  Obviously, our faith was miniscule, but the Lord was faithful.  Nicole was born on October 12, 2004.  On October 15, I went to the hospital sporting my brand new Honda Odyssey and was ready to drive my baby girl home.  “One more test”, said the doctor.  Why?  My coat was on.  Seriously!  I was ready to go home and I was mad.  “One more test”, he insisted.  He said we had to go home without Nicole while they ran one more test.  I was furious.  Why?  We had no answers.  None.  I rested well knowing that everything was fine and all of this was just an over-zealous doctor.

The phone rang at 5am.  “Mr. Miller?”
“It has been determined that your daughter Nicole may not have any functioning kidneys and she needs to be taken to Children's Hospital immediately!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, you need to come to the hospital immediately.”

…a stunned goodbye.  Without getting into too much detail about the 1000 tests that were performed on my angel, it was determined that Nicole had no kidney on her right side and a “small” kidney on her left side.  (So much for the 6 level 2 ultrasounds that were supposed to verify she had 2 kidneys.  Hmmm.  It makes you wonder.)  Nicole was born with a genetic defect, branchio-oto-renal (BOR) syndrome.  She was born with chronic kidney disease and potential hearing loss.

Deliverance to Hardship:  The Lord had brought our deliverance in the form of the birth of Nicole and now the hardship.  It reminds me of the deliverance of the children of Israel from Egypt (Exodus 14).  400 years of waiting and the Lord finally brought deliverance to His people only to have them run head-long into the Red Sea.  Backed escape...the enemy barreling down.  Why did the Lord lead them this way?  Have you ever looked at a map?  It didn't need to happen.  There were other routes that could have been taken.  Other roads.  But no, the Lord had a purpose in mind...

Hardship to Glory:  Despair for Moses and his contingent led to Glory for the Deliverer.  Moses, in obedience to God, raised his hand over the sea and the waters parted (Exodus 14:26).  The children of Israel walked across in victory while the enemy was destroyed behind them.

That was the path.  Deliverance to Hardship to Glory.  It is God's way.  It is on this road that He receives the glory as the deliverer not once, but twice.

Today, February 9th, 2011, we stand like the children of Israel backed up against the Red Sea with the enemy all around.  We have nowhere to go.  The medicine’s have done all they can and Nicole's little kidney is failing.  We have been told to obtain a donor kidney.  I cannot express to you the joy our family is feeling at this moment as now 12 people, some we don't even know, have stepped up to be a potential donor for our little angel.  The more potential donors the greater chance for a match.  The better the match the better it will be for Nicole.  This is restoring my faith in my fellow man and teaching me a valuable lesson in faith.  To God be the Glory.  But just as my testimony remained firm until the birth of Nicole I remain steadfast today.  The Lord is able to completely heal my little girl!  That is my testimony.  It is true.  The Lord that healed in the scriptures is the same Lord that lives today.  He knows our need.  We have a faithful high-priest in the Lord Jesus.  He can be touched with our infirmities and knows what it means to suffer and be delivered.  He can do it again.  Until they lay a knife on Nicole to put in that donor kidney I am going to scream from the mountain top:


The Lord's deliverance...our hardship...the Lord's glory!  May it be so as I raise up my hands and ask the Lord to part the waters.

Psalm 121
 1I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
 2My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

For His Glory,


  1. Your testimony is true. I love that word (Word)-true. You are standing on a solid, unmovable rock of Truth, sovereign and unchanging. There are many who stand with you, hold your arms up.

  2. "Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord" is what was spoken before crossing that Red Sea. You are in a position to see such awesome miracles and I am priveleged to stand there with you brother! I am believing God to do the impossible right there with you. Thank you for sharing your heart and testimony. It blessed me:)

  3. I remember getting the phone call, Nicole was born!! Prayers answered! I remember the 2nd phone call...despair, hurt, asking why?! Tears. We needed God to take care of Nicole; we needed faith. Faith in a God so strong that he could heal, but will he? I know that God has a plan for my beautiful niece and I believe that Nicole will be well. Whether it is Nicole being healed or the healing is a perfect donor. I know that in 6 years I haven't prayed a prayer that hasn't asked God to heal Nicole. I have asked God for many things in my prayers and honestly some are just selfish, but I only want one prayer answered. I pray that God heals Nicole or through this process he matches Nicole to the perfect donor. I know that through God all things are possible.

    Brian, you are a pillar of strength. You are a wonderful husband, father, son, brother, friend, and man of God. I am so proud to call you my brother and my friend. Your faith is so strong. I will be there for you through this and we will continue to pray for healing. I love you, Terri

  4. Brian, Don and I never gave up on God for our daughter Paula. You can't.. It is in His hands and His will be done... We love you guys, Kathy and Don

  5. Praying for you guys, and sweet Nicole.